Of Seasonal Cynicism and Cyclical Suicide
by pokemypoke
Summary: A glimpse in the life of a man and a woman in love...a life in the war of the wizarding world. Remus and Tonks moments in rhyme. Written for JamesLuver.


**A/N: **Happy Birthday, **JamesLuver**! It's been a couple of hours there…but it still applies here where I have been partying all day. :D No. It's more tragic. This week was…insane. But regardless, I had to get this to you the first chance that I had, even half done as it is.

Honestly, I would not be the writer nor the person that I am without this wonderfully gifted writer. You must read her pieces. She is not only insanely amazing, but insanely talented, humble, and kind. She is going places in life…so you better catch her now while you can! She will give you the best of herself…of whatever fandom that she delves into. She's the best…and she's a dear friend who I wouldn't trade for anything. I hope you will forgive the lateness and just know that I love you always and am here for you always no matter what happens in life.

Please enjoy this. The pr0n will be forthcoming next chapter.

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is not mine. Remus Lupin and Tonks are DEFINITELY not mine. Poor Teddy…poor, poor Teddy.

* * *

She laid inside the sheets, wrapped up like a caterpillar. If only she could break apart…fly away.

A creak from the first floor had her fumbling from the warmth and protection of Remus's bed.

There was shouting and doors smacking as she tiptoed back into the hallway, the old worn floorboards making the bottom of her toes feel flayed.

The sound of his slow, soft steps on the stairs made her rush…made her trip…made her doorway smack her head.

"Tonks?" He tilted his head and his body. Perhaps he hoped that she wouldn't notice how his clothes were decayed.

The clumsy, fumbling, tumbling girl simply stared at him with her hair turning as red as her cheeks. Tears born from the center of the back of her eye made her face feel heavy. And then, like a child, she fled.

"Tonks!" he shouted, apparently unmindful to how the buzz from the room below them turned into quiet.

She had a hard bed. She had forgotten. She had flopped and now her stomach burned as brightly as her eyes. She had a moment – mere seconds – before he came to her bed and then- then his steps fainted away. She had to hold her breath to keep her heart from breaking. The first tear fell as the room below fell back into their riot.

* * *

Sheets askew, feet bare, he laid on his bed. The whole room – the whole world – seemed unsettled.

He could never hear the tears, but instead, he'd hear her harsh intakes for air every so often…every so horrible often.

A roll of the sheets knotted at his neck and he twisted it, irritated. She let out another gasp and another moment of silence and Mad-Eye's snoring went by. He reached out a hand. He turned his head. He saw her…he saw _her_…he fell off the bed, completely unlevelled.

"Remus!" she said, falling down to her knees with a thump. He gained a glimpse at the flesh between her thighs as her gown fluttered. Her hand shot down, her face turned red. He suddenly realized his own coughing.

"Fine! I'm…I-I'm fine…go on back to bed…go on now," he said with the calm of a whistling kettle.

A palm as warm as the floor was cold touched his cheek tentatively. A thumb swept his scarred cheek. She smiled, her eyes all the more rounder and wide. _Such love in her eyes_, he thought. _But then…_

Nipping her bottom lip, allowing her hair to fade from bright red to a dull, dull brown, Tonks replied, "Perhaps we could both go back to back…back together…"

Her skin was soft. She turned her head. Her hand met his cheek. His skin was leather.

* * *

She was the television. He was the remote control. Without his batteries, she changed on and on and on.

"A blonde." Her hair went platinum and her skin to gold. He turned away. He wasn't sold.

Sheepish, she lowered her eyes. Allowing her skin to pale, she let her hair turn the color of fawn.

A sarcastic laugh. "Turn older." Without consulting her mind, the horrible features unfold…her hair growing like fire and her eyes turning into an emerald mold.

Swift as a swish of a wand, he was in a stony rage. "How dare you." No question. No wonder. As if he'd expected it all along.

A lean to the left and a face not her own yet not unfamiliar peered back at her in the broken mirror by her door. Her heart went cold.

Shifting, he shuffled out of the room. The tears came at once with the force of monsoons.

A bucket of tears and a mop of red hair fading so soon. Bloom went the lily. Close went the tomb.

* * *

The night ran on in the stream of the moon.

He screamed in anguish and heard a howl fly from the back of his tongue. Run, Remus. Run. _Run_.

High off a drug that he could never escape, his mind flew through the outer of space. To the pain. To the face. To the soon, soon, _soon_.

The moon was so full and so shattered that night, coming in pieces like diamonds. Too bright. Too bright. He tore through the woods…through a deer…for fun.

_Lily before him not Lily at all. But certainly not the Tonks he adored. Lily before him as naked as morn and with eyes he had seen in cheap porn._

Hassling. Hunching. Heaving. Hunting. Mouth wide enough to split his brain. He ran through the night as a regular loon.

A regular loon. A looming moon. A woman and man just as lost as consumed. Just as lost as consumed. Just as lost as consumed.

Blades of grass. Breeze cutting his fur – his face. Beady rocks lodging deep in his toes and smarting so slightly – like mulling mines. The war was brewing…but he was now attuned.

* * *

**A/N:** Love, you deserve SO, SO much better than this half-finished, crazy rhyming thing. I hope you can forgive me and know that I love you more than words can say and that you are one of the most important people in my life. No exaggeration. None at all. You are so wonderful and I only hope that your birthday was amazing.


End file.
